Dear Dad,

(written by Michael Grunewalder on January 10, 2012)

I said I would call but as usual, my busy life got the better of me and I didn’t call. When I finally had the time, you were not home. I said I would call again at night but just like before, life got the better of me and I posponed. How I wish I had taken just a few minutes of my life to make that call. But how could I know how precious time was, everything seemed to be ok again. Well, time is always precious because we never know God’s plans.

All my life I simply saw you as my Dad, not so much as a source of inspiration or an idol. Well, deep inside I am sure those feelings were there, but not so much on the outside. Sometimes as a kid, please forgive me, I even envied other kids for their dads. But I uess that’s the way we are. Kids are supposed to be stupid when they are young and learn only much later the value of the times they had. The past few month however changed all that. When we learned about your illness, the way you dealt with it, your positive attitude, your strength, that was amazing. Staring death in the eye but saying:”Hey, don’t worry, I’m fine. Everything is going to be ok.”, that gave me the biggest inspiration of my life and it made me proud to be your son. I don’t know how I would deal with a situation like that if I ever have to face it, but I pray that I will remember your strength and draw my own strength from it.
I don’t know what happened, it seems like some of your strength faded away, but I beg you to find it back. Remember, we made plans to go for coffee when I come back to Germany and it is only a few more months.
If you really really have to go, then I will try to understand, but if a trace of your strength is left in you, then please, please, please hang in there for me, because I am not ready to let go.